:: new me ::

jeng..jeng...jeng....hahaha...setiap kali update,mesti new me la...apa la..tapi,tak new2 pun aku tengok..tapi...kali ni serious..

korang masih ingat lagi tak,aku selalu cerita tentang si dia.heeeheee..alhamdulillah,he's normal..again..after 9 months...maybe..thanks for those who pray for him..hah?relation dengan dia macam mana?alhamdulillah..kami masih lagi berkawan sampai sekarang.hubungan kami tak ke mana pun..ha?salah siapa?bukan salah dia...salah sang hati..sebab sang hati tak dapat nak tahan dengan perangai dia...mungkin kalau sang hati dapat bertahan dengan dengan perangai si dia..mungkin hubungan sang hati masih lagi kekal..tapi...nampaknya sang hati tak dapat bertahan...sedih?ye..memang admit dulu sedih...bila dia hilang 9 bulan...oh!9 bulan yang mana?yang dia hilang ingatan tu la...don't know how to say..but..yup..orang cakap,cukup la sekali hilang dan buat orang tertunggu...dia hilang bukan sekali..dah banyak kali..dan mungkin disebabkan dia macam tu la...sang hati decide sang hati takkan teruskan hubungan dengan dia..bab perangai,tak apa la..orang cakap kalau tak kenal,kita takkan tahu perangai orang tu..kan?so,better korang kenal dulu dia...nanti korang akan tahu.. :)

ok..about me and rusa...alhamdulillah..i won't call him rusa again..rusa dalam bahasa inggeris is DEER right?and dalam kata erti lain...DEAR...actually,it's just me and him know this 'panggilan'..hah?siapa dia?haha...he's the only one that keep my heart safely...haha...i don't know where he put my real heart...but..yup..he's the only one..hampir 5 tahun...si dia simpan hati sang hati..hahah...ok..sang hati cerita k...kalau korang nak baca,baca la..i don't mind..if tak nak pun tak apa..sekadar berkongsi cerita...ok...sang hati kenal dia ni thru TAGGED. dan masa tu...entah la..mungkin disebabkan kami ni kepala gile2 sikit..so,kami happy...masa tu..yup..and i'm fall in love with him after a month we know each other.and i know...he loves me more than i love him..but...our relation can't be...after 9 month...sebab?haha...mungkin orang cakap tak ada jodoh.after decide jadi kawan,i can't bare everything..i cried...a lot...if i'm not mistaken...about 9 months i cried every night..and waktu tu,kami tak contact each other.sebab?ego masing-masing...yang sana tunggu yang sini..yang sini tunggu yang sana.haaa...i'm miss him... :')
he cried a lot too...when he read my old blog...yup..he knows everything..i said i miss him..and what so eva..but the reality,we can't go back...we can't...there's a reason for that..but,only me and he knows the reason.then,we lost contact....i didn't call him..he didn't give me a single message.but one day..he text me..nak tahu apa yang dia bagi?he said "i saw someone like you..but she's not wearing a spectacle and little bit tall." masa tu sangat excited...sangat...but..ego menangkis semuanya...semua...sang hati buat bodoh  je..konon kental hati..lastly...tak jugeee ..haha...why i'm crying now?why me still have tears for him?silly me..yup..i'm too silly in part of love..ok..enough for that story..now,me and him still berkawan...still contact...and still jumpa...kadang2 jadi rindu...tapi,kena la jaga sikit..dah besar kan sekarang nih..hahaha..oh my Allah...i forgot to give him his present...i bought it from SABAH..it's ok la..maybe next time..hee...ok...me realize that me don't have any feeling when me saw something.ok...saw what?ssshhhh....hehe....yup..mungkin me dah take back my heart that he keep for 5 years..whooaa....wait..!!mesti korang cakap "for 5 years?so,macam mana dengan 'si dia'?".yeah...actually,i tried to find someone that can change me..can care me like si rusa ni..but,i can't...and me realize...even me dengan si dia sekalipun..me takkan sayangkan si dia macam mana me sayangkan si rusa.haa...siapa perempuan,faham la kot..but,never mind..si dia pun actually tahu yang me dengan si rusa macam mana..and he admit that he can't beat  si rusa..and i said "tak pe..sy akan cuba dan terus mencuba untuk menjadi yang terbaik for you.sabar ye?". now,me and si rusa jadi buddies..i love him much...yup..i love him more..but as a friend...as a buddy...he knows that..sebab kami bincang malam tadi.haha..semua sebab kesalahfahaman.hehe...even bincang malam tadi pun...and disebabkan kesalahfahaman ni pun..ada jugak tau airmata yang mengalir disebabkan dia..see...how stupid i am..hmm..insyaa Allah..persahabatan kami takkan terpisah..even gaduh besoooo mana pun...he's the best..oh,btw...psstt,dia single tau..rugi sape tak nak dekat dia...heheeee... :D

and now..i'm single...no more flirting...no more love..oppsss!!!yang ni bahaya...see....no more love tu...hahaha..actually,me ada admire sorang mamat ni tau...he's hot...uuuu...hahaha..we don't know each other...he never know me..and so do i.mana kenal?hah...facebook....nak tengok muka dia?no...nak tahu apa penyebab me suka dia...korang jangan gelak tau..hanya sorang sahabat me yang tahu me boleh tertarik dengan apa..haaa...me tertarik dengan gigi...hahaha..see..korang tak gelak,but me gelak sakan kat sini...me akan tertarik bila gigi yang me nak suka tu cantik,..bersih..and maybe macam gigi me..haa..agak-agak gigi me macam mana?kompem la teratur...kikiki...ok..me tertarik dengan gigi lelaki ni..senyuman dia...ya Allah..but...i can't be more with him..no...cannot..because...i'm scared..just scared..that's all....lagipun,he's younger than me..2 years younger if i'm not mistaken la..ermm...he's debater...but...entah la...yang me tahu,me sukakan dia...even me tak pernah bercakap atau apa-apa dengan dia.. :)

sampai sini je la sang hati bercerita..nanti lain kali me cerita lagi k... XOXO